Boiling Point

It has been confirmed. Us Scottish nurses are getting the full 2.5% pay award up front, on the dot, in April. English nurses will have to wait until November for the second part of their staged award. I bet Gordon Brown is fizzing. This really puts the pressure on him to do the same down south. I would expect the RCN and Unison to seriously turn up the heat in their campaign for a fair wage. The message to the Government should be clear : If you can't pay the staff, you can't have your targets met!
It would make our life simpler. We could concentrate on patient care without having to bother about ticking the Government's boxes. Target the targets, not the patients!

Have you seen this pay award?

Am I imagining things? I was in a book shop in Princes Street this afternoon when I heard over the radio that the Government are going to give us nurses the full 2.5% pay raise in April, and not stage it as they said they were going to.
You can imagine how pleased I was, and I was looking forward to seeing the reaction on the news. Only trouble is, there's nothing I can find about it. Nothing on BBC news, Sky news, Google news, Yahoo news and even AOL news. Come on, this is major! This is Government climbdown in the face of possible militant action by nurses. But apart from that radio bulletin - silence. Not even a denial. It feels so weird. Does anyone out there know what's going on? Anyone?

Sound stuff

I once worked for American television. (Say what?) That sounds a whole lot more impressive than the reality.
It was in the summer of 1987. I was working for a video project at the East of Scotland Society for the Deaf. This was long before I became a nurse. And yes, I did pick up the basics in sign language while I was there. We were at the Royal Highland Show, videoing it for the project, when my boss met up with some of her friends, one of whom had been asked by Channel 5 Philadelphia to also film the Royal Highland Show. Or maybe he had pitched the idea to Channel 5? He had a broadcast quality camera and a large sound box, and he asked me if I wanted to give them a hand. So I ended up as the sound man on a very small, all Scottish, camera crew, filming the sights and sounds of Scotland's biggest agricultural show. We interviewed a chap selling tractor equipment. We filmed cows. Best of all, we got to enter the press lounge for a cup of tea.
I have no idea to this day if the stuff we shot ever appeared in Philadelphia, and I've never been involved with television production since then, but it was a fun day while it happened.

Clocking all over the world

This weekend, America is starting summer time three weeks early. The idea is to save on fuel bills by making it lighter in the evening. (I think that's right. Let me see, Spring forward, Fall Back. I'm sure that puts the extra daylight at the end of the day.)
There are no worries about the change affecting computers. Not like the panic over Y2K. I don't think we're likely to see planes falling out of the sky.
It'll be interesting to see what happens in the Blogosphere. It is truly international. Even my small blogroll covers Australia to California (via Scotland - natch!) For three weeks then, American bloggers will be one hour closer in time. Then our summer time kicks in, and we're back to the status quo (cf blog title).
Now summer time is a much bigger issue in Scotland than it is in the US. We're further away from the equator, so in winter the sun rises appreciatively later than it does in London, whereas the difference between Texas and Dakota is probably not so noticeable. This means that once again, somebody is proposing to make it summertime all year round. This would mean that it would still be dark in Aberdeen at ten o' clock in the morning in December! Bad idea!
By the way, I wonder what Alaskans think of this?

Blog against Sexism Day

Today is blog against sexism day. It's a day for stopping and thinking about how one half of humanity treats the other half. It's a day for sweeping out the stale stereotypes that impede communication between a woman and a man. If you make a judgement about someone of the opposite sex today, stop and think if you are relying on a hackneyed piece of received wisdom such as ' men only think about football and sex' or 'women don't do maps'. Remove the filter of sexism and try and see your friend or workmate in an objective light, untainted by whether they are female or male. Judge a person by their actions, and not by the characteristics they were born with. If you get to know them better, they might surprise you.
Hat tip to JanieBelle.

Bringing light to the Dark Ages

How old is cataract surgery? Twenty years? Thirty years? Actually, a form of cataract surgery was being performed over a thousand years ago!
[Warning! This post is not for the faint-hearted!]
It was in India during the eighth and ninth centuries, that special practitioners of the art of cataract removal wandered the highways of the subcontinent. The only thing that differentiated them from all the other indigent travellers was their extra long thumbnails. When they came to a town, they would advertise the fact that they could cure blindness. In those days, the major cause of blindness would be cataracts. Very very mature cataracts.
The healer would settle his vict...er...patient down, probably say something like, " Now this might sting a bit," before plunging his sharp thumbnails through the patient's corneas, and pushing the hardened, opaque lenses through the posterior capsule and into the vitreous, where they would fall to the bottom of the eye, out of the line of sight.
Once the screaming had subsided, the patient would eventually open his eyes, and for the first time in years, be able to see again. The vision would be blurred of course, but it would still be a definite improvement. The healer would receive his fee and then depart as quickly as he could without causing suspicion.
Now thumbnails are not the most hygienic of surgical instruments. Introducing them to the inside of the eyeball is never a good idea. It wouldn't take long for a raging infection to set in to the eyes, and the darkness would return permanently. By this time, the healer would be long gone with his money, and out of the reach of retribution.

Professor Deacon Barry II - preview trailer

Remember my stint as a one-off lecturer? Well there's going to be a sequel. Part two of the Ophthalmic Nursing Course starts in April, and I've been asked to follow on from my scintillating lecture on retinal detachment with a lecture on the complications of retinal detachment. Which means it's back to the books to read up all I can find on the subject. Fortunately, Mary, the course tutor, has sent me a power-point presentation made by one of our ophthalmic registrars. It's pretty basic, not much more than subject headings. So I'll have to expand a bit.
In part two, students are expected to do a group presentation. (Ours was on diabetic retinopathy.) I so have to go along and see theirs. I don't know why people get so worked up about standing up in front of a room of other people (most of whom they already know) and delivering a pre-planned and written down speech for five minutes. In April, I'll be doing an hour, off-the-cuff, with only notes for back-up.
Sympathetic? Moi?

Spocko's letter

Spocko's got this letter to President Bush posted. He's asking all bloggers to post it as well. As he puts it:
"BTW, even if you are a 5th tier blogger with 2 readers still post this. Why? Because the main stream press look at stuff in aggregate. As in "200,000 blogs wrote about New Orleans rebuking the President." It's a simple step. Do it. Don't cost ya nuthing."

Mr. President: Katrina Survivors Do Not Welcome You, We Rebuke You!
We live in a devastated city and you are a big part of the reason why it sill sits in ruins. Your administration has abandoned our children by savaging their public schools. Your administration has tortured our working class people by refusing to reopen the city’s public housing developments. And your administration is fully complicit in placing our uninsured in harms way by ruthlessly pursuing the privatization of local public healthcare in the aftermath of Katrina. And, finally your administration is guilty of sending our sons and daughters of to war for oil and empire just when we need them most to help us rebuild our community.
Mr. President, we, Katrina Survivors all, do not welcome you to our city, we rebuke you!
Sponsored by Survivors Village, United Front For Affordable Housing.
(504) 587-0080

If you have a blog please consider posting this today.

Station vistas

I thought I'd let you see where I work. This is our Nurses' Station, the hub of our operations (pun not intended). The top picture is a view of the desk from the chair of command. The switches control the ward lighting. You can see the ward diary under a report sheet, and one of our telephones. The second picture shows the same desk from the other side. The computer terminal is behind the partition. You can see the chair we sit in. Through the door, you can see the front door of the ward and the stairwell beyond. I took the pictures during the Christmas period, which explains the presence of a decoration on the wall. The poster beside it is a cross-section of the eye - well it is an ophthalmic ward!

Double Diamonds

It's a two for one offer on links today. Both JanieBelle and Corporal Kate have included me on their blogrolls. So it's a peek above the sgian dudh for both of them.

Ohhhh Julie

Remember Duncan Thorp? The chap running as an independent for the Lothian list for the Scottish Parliament? Well I've found another independent challenger with a blog. Her name is Julie Mcanulty, and she's standing in the Central Scotland list. She's campaigning to keep Monklands Hospital from closure. Her blog is fun to read, and informative. I hope she keeps going with it after the election.

The four essentials

Mother Jones has tagged me with a meme: “Name four things that, as a nurse, you can’t live without, and one thing that you covet.”
The tunic I wear only has two pockets, a small breast one, and a larger side pocket. Within them, I carry all my essential equipment that I need to nurse. I carry pens (black and red), scissors, pen torch, and the printed report. All of these are replaceable on the ward, so if I lose one, I can easily get another. One thing I carry in my pocket that I can't live without, is my tape measure. I use this for measuring patients' calves for TED stockings. I hated searching the ward for one, so I found one in our sewing box and I've kept it in my nursing kit ever since.
Sister got me a mug for Christmas with a picture of a grinning animated squirrel from Over the Hedge. I keep it on the ward for my coffee breaks. I can't live without that now.
I can't live without reading material. I always buy an Independent on my way into work, and every fortnight, a Private Eye. Once I've finished them, I'm forced onto a diet of Metros, Cosmopolitans and OKs, whatever is in the room, I'll read it. Breaks are interminable without them.
The last thing I can't live without is my holdall. It holds my uniform, sandwich box, biscuit - banana - and yoghurt container, hat, gloves, umbrella, the aforementioned newspapers and various pieces of paper-based detritus.
The one thing I covet is one of those fancy tourniquets that clips and tightens round the patient's arm. The ward only supplies ones made of rubber and velcro.
I tag anybody who wants to join in the fun. You don't have to be a nurse, just adapt it to whatever job you do.

Don't they teach superheroes first aid?

I've just watched the new series on the Sci-Fi channel - Heroes. Of course I loved it. It's an intelligent take on the superhero mythos that focuses on the characters rather than their powers. And guess what? One of them's a nurse. His name is Peter, and he and his brother Nathan, a politician, can fly. We know he's a nurse, because right at the start of the programme, he changes an IV bag. The girl, who's father he's looking after, later calls him to help her boyfriend, another Hero, who paints prophetic paintings, and is also a drug user. He's unconscious. Peter checks him over, says "He's alive, call 911!" So far so good. Then the scriptwriters spoil it with a boo boo. Instead of rolling the unconscious artist into the recovery position, Peter's eye is caught by the paintings of nuclear annihilation and leaves his patient to have a closer look. And I'm shouting at the TV: "Recovery Position Dammit!"
Still, it's nice to have a central character who's a nurse, and not a doctor/detective/lawyer.

The little drummer-blogger

Here it is. A picture of the Bodhran I bought yesterday. Isn't it a beauty? It's a lot harder to play than it looks, but I'm starting to get the wrist movement right for beating triplets. That's the extra beat with the other end of the tipper. It's very therapeutic.

Pa-rup-a-pum-pum

To market

To market

To buy a Bodhran.

Home again

Home again

Rup-a-pum-pum.

Uh... guess what I did today?

A Bodhran is a celtic frame drum, played with a double ended beater called a tipper or cipin. Today I was walking round East Fortune Market, and I saw it. The whole package. Drum, two tippers, beginner's book, demo cassette and CD - only £15! At long last, after many years of waiting, I now have my Bodhran.

Many years ago, I attended the very first Beltane Fire Festival on Calton Hill. There I received my first lesson on how to play this instrument. I resolved then and there, that I would obtain my own instrument. In the intervening years, I have been to numerous jumble and car boot sales, always in the hope of finding one on sale. Today it happened.

It's a genuine Irish instrument. I know this because it's got a Guinness advert on the skin. I may post a picture of it later so you can see it.

Addendum

The previous post won't make much sense now, because I've managed to delete the duplicate blogroll.

The blogroll cometh

At last! I've finally got a blogroll! I can now give link love to everyone who's linked to me. Actually, it looks like I've got two of them. My previous efforts at diving under the bonnet have finally come to fruition. I put those links there ages ago, but they never appeared on screen. Now, with the new features, and me working on a new blogroll, they finally appear, duplicating the links in the top list. Oh well, two blogrolls for the price of one - what a bargain!

Googlezumped

I think I've just been upgraded, whether I wanted to or not. Honestly, I take three days off blogging to do three twelve hour shifts in order to ensure that enough money appears in my bank account at the end of the month to pay for a few luxuries such as food, electricity and mortgage, and when I log back on, I'm faced with a page that won't allow me through until I sign on to the new Google Blogger. Well I'm here now. I just hope it doesn't cut down on my traffic. If you have any problems commenting, let me know...uh... wait a minute... how's that going to work?

Who's Duncan Thorp?

The Scottish elections just got interesting. It seems we have an independent candidate in the listings for Lothian. His name is Duncan Thorp, and it's a hat tip to Scottish Political News for finding him.
He's going for the second vote list seat, but he doesn't have a popular single issue, nor is he well known, which are the two main prerequisites for an independent challenger. So what has he got? His main asset is his inside knowledge of how the Scottish Parliament works. He's worked there as a press officer for the Liberals. He's also not Labour, which is always a good sign. Here's a link to his website http://www.votethorp.com/
I've decided to blog about him, because he's made an effort to engage the netroots. He was quick to respond to the post in the Scottish Political News, which shows he's reading them. The only way he's got a chance of winning is with netroot support.
The American netroots only made their breakthrough last year. We're probably about three years behind them here. Scottish blogs don't have the muscle yet to be a deciding factor in these elections, but it will be an invaluable learning experience trying out tactics and strategy. A good place to start is seeing if it's possible to build up a netroots candidate to something close to a competitive election result. A candidate has presented himself fortuitously for the chase. Who can resist the underdog?

Change of Shift

Mother Jones is currently hosting Change of Shift, the blog-carnival written by and for nurses. The post about the awsome power of stupidity is drink-snortingly funny.

Bump

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!"
The sudden harsh, shrill scream of a child in pain filled the ward.
It came from a side room where the howling child was being comforted.
"She fell and hit her head on the bed frame."
She's got a real keeker on her right forehead.
Ice, the inner nurse tells me, ice will reduce any swelling by constricting the capillaries.... I'm on it already. It's only my third shift here, but I know where the ice maker is. I hurry to the treatment room.
What are you going to put the ice in? the inner nurse asks. You'll need a plastic bag.
I look forlornly round the treatment room. If this was the Eye Pavilion you'd know exactly where to lay your hands on the polythene bags you normally use.
But they use orange disposal bags for dressings!
I grab one, pile the ice cubes in, then look for something heavy.
Everything in the treatment room seems to be made from flimsy plastic.
You usually batter the ice with a jar of coffee.
There's a kitchen. Sure enough, it has a large jar of coffee.
Bang, bang, bang!
I turn ice cubes into snow.
I return to the injured toddler.
Who's not too happy about having a freezing bag of ice placed on her forehead.
Oh-kay.
A wet paper towel might be an acceptable substitute. The water is cold.
I grab some paper towels and soak them in cold water. Now, how to persuade the moppet to put it on her bump?
You know what you're going to have to do.
Yup. I know.
I kneel in front of her. I hold the wet paper to her forehead.
"This is the way we wash our hair,
Wash our hair
Wash our hair
This is the way we wash our hair
On a cold and frosty mor-ning!"

Rapid response

The blogstorm appears to have subsided. JanieBelle and WordPress, while not exactly at kisses and peek above the garter terms with each other have settled into a guarded truce. Further developments will emerge, no doubt. Elsewhere, Spocko is having a slow but steady effect on KSOF's advertising revenues, with several organisations announcing their withdrawal of adverts. In both cases, a similar thing happened : the news about the censorship of a low flying blog filtered upwards until major blogs brought it to the attention of the blog masses.
The Blogosphere is messy. Like biological structures, it evolved into a form which works, but no-one in their right minds would have designed that way. There is one major imbalance which was highlighted by Interrobang* on the comments thread two jumps down. I want to respond to this in a post, so here's the comment in its entirety :
If all the blogging services that currently exist start censoring things that people in the free world (that is, outside of the US) want to and are legally permitted to read, probably new, non-US-based blogging services will start up. That said, you can run a blog on your own website if you own a domain name and stuff. It's slightly harder than using Blogger (I actually run a site of my own for my job, since I'm a consultant), but it can certainly be done. That said, by what law can they even censor "erotica" online? Even hard-core pornography is not, so far as I know, illegal for people over 21 in the US, so I think they're treading on some pretty shaky First Amendment grounds. I'd say the best strategy is to fight this vigorously, while looking into people or organisations who could start a non-US-based blogging service. For that matter, it's about damn time the rest of the world built its own internet backbone, because most of the world's internet traffic still passes through servers that are physically located in the US, and that could get sticky later on.
The Blogosphere may have virtual tendrils of digitally marshalled electrons wafting about in cyberspace, but the anchors to the real world are firmly rooted (routed?) in the USA. There it is vulnerable to attack. Interrobang's strategy seems a good one. Vigorous defence against censorship already exists and is improving. Like a muscle that develops with exercise, the recent blogstorms have shown that the Blogosphere is developing a defensive mechanism against censorship. The philosophy is : Censor one, censor all.
There should be more bloghosts in other parts of the world, certainly, but how do they gain a toehold in the market? Maybe that is a response which will only kick in after the atmosphere in the US becomes so polluted by restriction, that the Blogosphere has to move or die.

*A friend of Spocko who has just put me on the blogroll. Much thanks!=D

Coke cuisine

We went out for lunch to the Waterside Bistro in Haddington today. There was this must-have item on the menu : Ayrshire gammon in Coca-Cola sauce. Yup, you read that right. Number one fizzy drink in the world, (but only just in Scotland) used as a marinade for a dish. Of course I went for it. And let me tell you it was delicious. It's like a very rich gravy, but slightly sweet. Like a sweet and sour sauce you might get in a chinese meal.
It's definitely a first for me. I've never heard of a chef using coke in a recipe before. But it works.

The spreading shadow

Another blog has been censored by WordPress. A Swedish blogger called Isabella Lund, who writes a political blog about prostitution in Sweden had it suspended temporarily. Another blogger was censured when she tried to raise the subject on the WordPress Forum. Add that to the delisting of JanieBelle, Corporal Kate, Censor This and Crowded Head Cozy Bed, and you start to see a pattern emerging.
A point made by Bloggenbent is important:
"This identifies a state of affairs that have always been there, but which may not have been apparent. Since most of the Swedish blogosphere is dependent on American service providers like Blogger.com and WordPress.com it may be that Swedes will have to abide by the most narrow of moral codes in US society."
And that is the wider issue of this situation. The Blogosphere exists currently on the whim of the American Government. Fortunately, at present, they are favourably disposed towards freedom of speech. But if they were to turn towards a more authoritarian or Dominionist mindset, we might see curbs on what subject matter would be acceptable to service providers. Imagine a Blogosphere with no criticism of the US administration or established religion permitted.
Blogs are becoming more influential, and having an effect on the political process. They are also outside political control. The only way to rein them in is to lean on the service providers, who are subject to US law.
WordPress itself may not survive the bad publicity. Once it becomes generally known that it's censoring blogs, bloggers will think twice about signing up to them. I know I certainly have.

Censorship alert!

Janiebelle has a blog called UDreamOfJanie. It is hosted on Wordpress. She's a science chick (that's her term) who also writes erotic fiction on her blog, so naturally, it is tagged as such. That seems fair enough to me. If people are looking for erotica they are likely to find her blog by going through Wordpress tags.
Not any longer. Wordpress have delisted her and her friend Corporal Kate from their tag lists. Now Janie and Kate are not the only bloggers with erotica on their sites, but they seem to be the only ones targeted.
They only discovered this, when their supply of spam suddenly dropped. Using that as an indication, they suspect that the offending post that seems to have precipitated Wordpress' action is a story that involves a priest. The message that seems to be conveyed here is that writing about sex is fine, but if religion is involved, then hell hath no fury than a bloghost in full righteous indignation mode.
Please go over to their blogs and give them your support. The Blogosphere is one place where free speech must thrive, and an attack on one blogger is an attack upon us all.

I chased a bug around a tree.

When my wife was a little girl, her father used to say the above phrase to her, to his great amusement, and her mother's annoyance. It wasn't until she was a lot older that she understood what her father meant with this phrase.
When she told me, I knew there had to be more to it, so here, in its entirety is the song. I would sing it, but I'm unable at this time to embed an audio file in this blog.

The Bug

I chased a bug around a tree,

The biggest bug you'll ever see.

I bagged that bug, 'cause he bugged me,

That bug around a tree.

A bug... a bug... a bug... a bug...

A bug around a tree.

o0o

I caught that bug and asked, "Tell me,

O bug, why do you pester me?"

He said, in all sincerity,

"For curiosity!"

For cu... for cu... for cu... for cu...

For curiosity.

Now go and sing this song to any children you know who are bugging you, and require some bugging in return.

The spreading meme

Remember that meme I proposed a few weeks ago? The one about calling this year 007? Would you believe that someone's got a name for it already. This year is a Bond Year, ie: a year that ends in 007 such as 2007 and 1007. I found it in the Urban Dictionary, via Rhea.
The Urban Dictionary has all sorts of up to the Bond Year words and phrases that reflect life in our shaken, but not stirred, civilisation. Check it out.

To be two plus three noughts to be

This is a bit of very late news, but I've only just discovered it. You remember I told you about Tino Buntic's record post of a thousand links, where every word linked to a website? Well now I find (two months later) that he's smashed that record to blitzerooneys. He's got a post with over Two Thousand links! Again, each word with a link attached.
Now here's the best bit - One of those links is to this blog!
To find my link, look in the internet news tidbits. The second paragraph begins: "In response to an increasing number of complaints..." See that third word 'to', that's the link here! You may find it's already highlighted. Sites that you've visited appear in violet.
To be part of a world record ... that is glory indeed.

Dispatches from 209 Forward : 2

That's the first full shift at the Royal Infirmary over. I feel I've settled in now, and I'm starting to relax. We were kept busy today, with an emergency admission requiring surgery. Still finding little things that need recording in the diary to be sorted out for next week. The biggest thing so far is the computer. We have no access to the ward files, so we can't update the report, or download ward paperwork. We can't access our e-mail accounts, so we are technically out of communication with the rest of the trust.
There's an annoying little high pitched beep that goes off every minute from a little speaker set into the ceiling above the nurse's station. It's purpose is to inform the ward staff that the pneumatic tube system is still operational. You would think it would be better if the beep indicated that the system was not working, but no. Every minute of every day and night - beeeeep...beeeeeep....beeeeeep....
Apparently, in the early days of the hospital's operation it was reported to the company that run the hospital, but amazingly, that particular speaker wasn't present on the hospital plans, therefore it didn't exist, and because it didn't exist, nothing could be done about it. So now, five years on it's still beeping every minute of every day and night.
Coupled with that is a terminal that drones continually like a baritone fly. If you're wanting peace perfect peace, ward 209 is not the place to be.

Dispatch from forward position 209

So far so good. No major problems so far, only minor technical difficulties that we can iron out over the next week or so. We managed to transfer over with our patient to the Royal this afternoon, and soon got her settled in a side room. I've managed to sort out the eye drops in the cupboard, and the pharmacy order for the fridge arrived only two hours after the appointed time. We can't access our computer account on the intranet, but hopefully a call to IT next week will sort that out. The staff on 209 are friendly, and are looking forward to us being there.
But the plastic aprons... they're PINK!

Adopting a position

I really hope the Government stand firm on this. The Catholic Church are wrong on this issue. There is no logical reason why being gay should make someone a worse parent than someone straight. Parenting is a skill certainly, that people learn by doing. Like every skill, some people are better at it than others. But it is a skill that both men and women are capable of doing. Gender is irrelevant. And if gender is irrelevant, so is the sexual preference of a parent.
Therefore, to discriminate against a possible adopting or foster parent because of a three thousand year-old rule - and only that, is illogical and wrong. If the Catholic Church wish to cease operating adoption agencies because they don't like the rules, then that is their decision. They must then live with the consequences of their actions. The law of the land tries to codify equal treatment for everybody regardless of what nature has endowed them with. Churches do not deserve, nor should expect, exemption from the law.

Promotion

Thanks to Lexington Parrothead's link, This blog has now been elevated into the rarified heights of the C-list. I am now officially a middle-ranking authority, based on my Technorati rating. 10 blogs have now linked to me in the last six months. If another 89 blogs join them, then I'll become a B-list blog.
Obsessive? Moi?

Pentangle

It's the five things about me meme. Stardust did hers, and tagged anybody who read the post, so I think I'll give it a go.

Five things about me

1. My entire employment history: Paperboy, Archaeological Site Assistant, Visual Doorbell Installer, Video Project Worker, Stage Lighting Technician, Scriptwriter, Market Researcher, Nurse.
2. I have Tourette's Syndrome.
3. I was born a few hundred yards from Banbury Cross, but I grew up in Leith.
4. I play Bridge.
5. Lord Byron and David Cameron are my fourth cousins.

So that's my five things. Why don't you have a go?

Express delivery

I was going to post yesterday, but I had to download my birthday present. It is Corel Paint Shop Pro X, and it's 104Mb in size. You don't realise how big a computer program is until you download one over the internet through a telephone line at 4 kilobytes per second. Don't anybody tell me that Broadband is quicker - I know it's quicker! But I have to get a WiFi card before I can get connected up, because my computer is too far away from the phone socket.
It took about eight hours to transfer the program. I didn't want to do anything else on the net, because that might have slowed it down - or buggered the whole transfer up, knowing my luck.
Note to self :- Next time I download something of a similar size with the current set-up, I'll set it going last thing at night, so it downloads while I'm sleeping.

Everyone knows it's windy

I'm back.
Yesterday was not a good day for travelling. I saw two overturned lorries on the M6. It was closed between junctions 32 & 33, due to an accident, so we had to make a detour through Preston, and got stuck in a traffic jam with an entire motorway's worth of traffic on a single-lane road. Eventually, I couldn't take no more, so I abandoned the A6 and struck out along the country lanes, and bypassed the bypass. When I rejoined the A6 at Lancaster, the traffic had rejoined the M6, so there were clear roads north, until I got to Scotland. The A7 is closed at Langholm, so I had to detour via Moffat and the A701. All this in gale-force winds.
Anyway, I'm back. Anything happen while I was away?

Deacon Barry is on holiday

I'm going to be out of town for the next few days, so there won't be anything new to read until the weekend. It's my birthday on Wednesday, so we're going down to visit my sister who lives in Dudley. I'm not going to have any access to the Internet, so I'll have serious withdrawal symptoms when I come back. While I'm gone, make yourself at home. I've got seven months worth of posts for you to browse, if you're interested. It'll get you up to speed with who I am, what my opinions are, and how my large twisted brain works.
So pull up a chair, get some beer from the fridge, and dig in.
See you on Friday.

Lothian NHS 101

In my last post I had a footnote explaining what the initials PMR stood for. I'm probably going to be chronicling our forthcoming epic sojourn to the Royal Infirmary over the next few months, so it would make sense to introduce you to some of the abbreviations for our hospitals.

Astley Ainslie: aka "Ghastly Astley". Rehabilitation centre set in several acres of scenic park land in the middle of Edinburgh.
ERI: Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. A fictional hospital that only exists in the pages of the Scotsman and Evening News.
LITTLE FRANCE: A flood plain. The location of the RIE, and an alternative name.
LUHNT: Lothian University Hospitals NHS Trust. Or is it NHS Lothian? They keep changing the name, but the people stay the same. All hospitals in Lothian belong to this. There used to be separate trusts a few years ago, but they all amalgamated when the New Royal was built.
NRIE: New Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh. An alternative name for the RIE. PFI funded replacement to the Old Royal. Not to be confused with the Titanic.(See RIE, LITTLE FRANCE)
OLD ROYAL: The site of the RIE for 130 years in the heart of Edinburgh. Consisted mostly of long Nightingale wards with a dozen beds along each wall. Now being turned into luxury flats.
PAEP: Princess Alexandra Eye Pavilion. One of Europe's foremost eye hospitals and my place of work.
PMR: Princess Margaret Rose. As mentioned, it used to be an orthopaedic hospital before it was transferred to the Royal Infirmary. The site has now been turned into luxury flats.
RIE: Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh. The most prestigious teaching hospital on the planet. Now onto its third site on a flood plain called Little France.(See NRIE, LITTLE FRANCE) Has the busiest A&E department in Britain.
Royal Ed: Royal Edinburgh Psychiatric Hospital in Morningside.
St Johns: Large hospital in Livingston that serves West Lothian. All Head & Neck services are there, except for...you guessed it - eyes!
WGH: Western General Hospital. Large hospital in north Edinburgh. The wards there are mostly medical - renal, gastro-intestinal, infectious diseases etc.

I hope that's clear. I may be using them a bit in future, so you might be wise to bookmark this page for reference.

I am the chosen one. It has fallen to me to lead my people into the promised land - bummer!
To save money, the management have decided to close the Eye Pavilion at the weekends. Patients will be transferred to the Royal Infirmary on Friday afternoon, and return on Monday morning. Only one Ophthalmic nurse will be required for the day and night shifts, as the beds assigned to us are part of the orthopaedic ward, and there are other staff nurses there to cover meal breaks. The starting date for this was 11th December 2006...only...nothing was ready. So the date had to be postponed until today...only...we still weren't ready. So the new start date is 26th January. And guess who's been assigned the first shift in the weekend ward? (See the top of this post for the answer.)
We went over on Monday for orientation. We got a smart new RIE ID which allows you electronic access. We got a guided tour round the ward, so I've got a rough idea where things are. The orthopaedic staff are looking forward to us coming. They were decanted here many moons ago when the PMR* closed, so they know what we're about to go through.
For the first month though, there's going to be two of us on duty, just to get everything settled in. Although some plans have been made, it's going to be very much a make it up as you go along affair. We won't know the problems until they hit us, and then we'll have to solve them.
What's worse, is that we're in the middle of renovations, this month, so everything's upside down as it is, and now we're adding this move on top!
Change is good. Change is good. Change is... if I say it often enough I might start to believe it. More of this anon. I'm on annual leave now for a week, and it's my birthday on Wednesday. I shall gather my strength before the approaching storm.

*PMR - Princess Margaret Rose Hospital. A now closed orthopaedic hospital in South Edinburgh.

We're all Jock Tamson's blogs

Most of the blogs in my favourites list are American. It's only natural, as they've had more time to grow, and because they're bigger they tend to show up first in searches. I've found myself to be the lone Scottish voice in the comments. Surely there must be other bloggers in Scotland? Of course there are. I've found a website that lists over 700 of them. It's www.scottishblogs.co.uk and I've just added this blog to the list.
I've also found out my Technorati rating. In the last month, I've jumped about 300,000 places up to 470,724. That puts me in the top half million, though I suspect that getting into the top 100,000 will be much more difficult. Nevertheless, it gives me something to aim for.

Stee-rike!

Spocko has posted the fairytale below on his blog, thanks to Interrobang. Have a look. We're in the middle of a blogswarm folks, and it'll be interesting to see how things fall out. This is the second time that Disney/ABC have fallen foul of the Blogosphere. In September they screened that misleading film about 9/11. Now they've been found to be sponsoring hate radio. That's two strikes. A third strike would be very bad for them indeed.

The search for Spocko

There is such a thing as a happy ending. Spocko is back online!

Flitting

I've now recovered from whatever it was zonked me on Thursday, so I'll be returning to work tomorrow for the big move. The ward is getting a new shower room installed, so we're having to decamp to other parts of the building for the whole of January. (sigh) We last did this two years ago, when the kitchen was refitted, and it's not a whole lot of fun. The Inpatients will be dossing down on the Assessments floor, and the Daycases will be operating out of the conference room on the middle floor. Luckily, for me, I'm going on holiday next week. Holiday? In January? Who takes a holiday in January? Well I made a decision years ago to always take the third week in January off, so that I would never again have to work on my birthday, which falls on the 17th. We're going to see my sister who lives down south.
Yesterday's post about the hate radio in San Francisco, and the attempts by King Mouse to silence Spocko has been name-checked by Interrobang. Go and check it out. There's links to other blogs covering the story.
I think Disney are learning an important lesson here : You can't censor the Internet!

Spocko and the Mouse-King - A true fairytale

Once upon a time, in a far off land, there lived a little blogger called Spocko. Now where Spocko lived, there was a radio station which was owned by the Mouse-King. And on this radio station were three bad rats called Mel, Lee, and Tom, who enjoyed saying naughty things about people they didn't like. One of them was even the princess of the land and Mel was heard talking about assassinating her!
Spocko got very angry when he heard this, so he recorded what these bad rats said, and put it on his blog. He also told the station's advertisers what they were saying, and they started to withdraw their advertisements from the station.
When the Mouse-King found out what Spocko was doing, he became very angry indeed! His minions sent a decree to Spocko's landlord, and Spocko was summarily evicted!
Poor Spocko. There is no happy ending - yet. He is still homeless. But he has been found by a friendly giant called Markos, who has shouted out Spocko's story with his great big voice, across the sea for me to hear and post it for you to read.
There may yet be a happy ending, because the story is still unfolding.
Click here to find out more.

Medblog awards

(sigh) Still laid low with the lurgy, but for all you lovers of medical blogs, the Medblog awards are up and running at Medgadget. Three of my favourite blogs are running for best medical blog, and two of them are in the lead. They are Emergiblog, and NHS Blog Doctor. Respectful Insolence is way behind with the rest of the field. Now that's two doctors versus one nurse, so guess which way I'm going in a totally unbiased and non-partisan manner? That's right, I'm going for nursing solidarity over Queen and country. So go Emergiblog!
If you want good reasons to vote for her, here they are:
It's a good blog, with interesting posts.
It's where Change of Shift, the nursing carnival started.
Her blogroll is all-inclusive.
She's currently in second place, so go and give her your support.

Sick day

Today I'm having a sick day. The bug that's been laying low my colleagues finally hit me at noon yesterday. One minute I'm busy at the nurse's station organising chest x-rays, ENT visit, social work referral and lift repair, the next I'm coughing sandpaper, and someone's replaced my legs with jelly.
I managed to struggle (heroically - if anyone from the Eye Pavilion is reading this) through to 7pm when Lynne of the night shift arrived, and I was able to hand over to her and flee the building. Until then, I was in the unusual situation of being able to organise my sick day - writing a red S over my shift on the off duty, and the work rota.
So today I feel generally grody, and I'm just hoping it doesn't get any worse. I don't do sick very well.

Happy New Year. How would you like to work in a ward like this? This is the state of the art Acute Referral Unit in one of Britain's most prestigious Naval facilities. Notice the elevated positioning of the beds, to protect the staff from back strain. Notice the compactness of the area, with all equipment within easy reaching distance. It's also well ventilated to provide patients with much needed fresh air.
I can sense your excitement and eagerness to work in such a therapeutic environment. Alas, I must inform you that this particular ward is no longer a functioning clinical area.
It is the sickbay of HMS Victory, Nelson's flagship in the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805, which now stands in a dry dock in Portsmouth Naval Base. I visited it this summer, and took this picture. The function of the hammocks is now obvious, now you know it's on a ship.

Going for bronze

Drat and double (oh) drat! I'm not the first with ion curtain. Somebody's got a blog with that name. Still, I'm on the first page of Google with the phrase, so that makes me about third or fourth to come up with it.

Ways and memes

I've got two memes that I have thought up. It'll be interesting to see how far they travel. The first is how people are going to refer to next year. Instead of calling it "Oh Seven" like the rest of this decade, I'm sure people will give it a James Bond twist and call it "Double Oh Seven"
So far, I haven't seen this, so it is my own original thought, but I'm sure it will occur to other people. It's just that I'm blogging about it first.
My second meme is one that I've already used in a previous post talking about the barrier that Blogger had up temporarily, which prevented me from commenting on Beta blogs. I referred to it as the Ion Curtain. It can be extended to refer to any electronic barrier in cyberspace. Feel free to use both memes. Just remember where you heard it first.

Speaking of which

I've got an accent. It's one that's very, very uncommon, basically because it's a blend. Most people have the undiluted accent of where they grew up. I spent the first five years of my life in the town of my birth - Banbury in Oxfordshire - acquiring a midlands accent. Then we moved to Edinburgh.
I started off in the primary school there as the one English pupil in a class of Scots speakers. My younger sister adapted to the new speech patterns, but being older, my accent was just about fixed. I say just about, because there was obviously still some flexibility left in my neural structure. Slowly, my accent has evolved. Now, if you could hear it, you could tell I was Scottish, but you wouldn't be able to say from where in Scotland. No-one can. Patients are always asking me where I come from. My accent has been placed in the Highlands and Islands, Buckie, the Borders, even Ireland. They're always surprised when I tell them I'm local.
Of course, I can't hear my accent. To me I sound as if I'm speaking straightforward English. It's everyone else who has an accent.

Look Ma! No Pa!

What do the films Godzilla and Jurassic Park have in common? OK apart from the depiction of large bipedal reptilians. What I'm trying to get at is they both use parthenogenesis as a plot device. Godzilla lays all those eggs in Madison Square Gardens, and the dinosaurs have frog-filler DNA which enables them to start breeding and thus allowing in the element of chaos that Jeff Goldbloom's character witters on about.
So far so sci-fi. Reality however has a knack of catching up with our imagination. A Komodo dragon in Chester Zoo has just laid eight self-fertilised eggs! The biologists' conjecture is that this is an evolutionary strategy to enable a single female to colonise an island by producing a batch of male offspring who can mate with her, and kick start the population.
I'd always felt that this was one of the weaker plot devices of both films. Parthogenesis? In large lizards? Yeah right. And now it seems that biology has proved them right. I bet it's morphic resonance really.

Merry Christmas!

THE VERY BEST CHRISTMAS OF ALL

It's Christmas

You must not miss, this

Merry old Christmas

So come one and all

We're having a ball

It's the very best Christmas of all.

Sleigh bells chime

Our guests they are on time

To drink of this mulled wine

So come one and all

We're having a ball

It's the very best Christmas of all.

The clock in

The hall is tick-tocking

So hang up your stocking

And come one and all

We're having a ball

It's the very best Christmas of all.

Children banter

As bedwards they canter

They mustn't miss Santa

So come one and all

We're having a ball

It's the very best Christmas of all.

Best wishes

And mistletoe kisses

To master and missus

And come one and all

We're having a ball

It's the very best Christmas of all.

Good Blogger

Blogger seem to have fixed the glitch they had with commenting on beta. I've had no difficulty in the last couple of days. Thank you Blogger.

Exodus decoded - aye right.

I watched James Cameron's documentary last night, Exodus Decoded, which figured out that the Exodus occurred in the aftermath of the Thera eruption. (Like, duh!) Only trouble is, they gave the date as 1500BC, when Thera has been dated by Greenland ice cores to 1628BC. As everyone knows, the chronology of the second millennium BC is a major headache. Exodus and the papyrus of Ipuwer are clearly describing a major volcanic eruption, but the historians continue to place the Exodus in the time of Ramesses II with minimal evidence.
But people trying to reconstruct history based on Exodus should also be wary. Although it may be based on ancient texts and oral tradition, Exodus probably wasn't written in its final form until the exile in Babylon, about a thousand years after the events. The description of the Thera event of 1628BC could have been incorporated into a later description of a mass migration following an earthquake round about 1500BC.
Here's another possibility, suppose the great famine that occurred under Joseph's governorship was the aftermath of Thera? Seven years of famine caused by a couple of degrees cooling of the Earth resulting from the release of tons of sulphur dioxide into the atmosphere, sounds like a plausible scenario.
The chronology problem of biblical times is not going to be sorted until we have rock-solid date markers to hang the known history on. For me, the 1628BC date for the Thera eruption is about as solid as you can get, assuming the science behind the ice-core dating is sound, which I believe it is. The biblical account of Exodus is not solid. It should only be used to colour in the historical record, after the chronological structure is in place. For that, we need more markers, and a willingness to abandon any preconceptions.
It's the ultimate jigsaw. We're missing most of the pieces, and we've only got one of the corners.

Quantum Santa Time

Ever wondered how Santa Claus manages to do the stocking run in a single night without moving so fast that his kinetic energy would ignite chimneys all over the world? Wonder no more. I've worked out that Santa operates in QST (Quantum Santa Time)
This is how it works. There are 365 days in a year - 364 working days and 1 Christmas day. In Quantum Santa Time, it's the other way round - 364 Christmas Days and 1 day off (probably his birthday). Being quantum time, these 364 days can all overlap, giving Santa 8736 hours to work with. There are 24 time zones, so Santa starts with a ration of 364 hours per time zone. But not all time zones are equally populated, so Santa can borrow hours from the time zones straddling the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans, and add them to the time zones covering Europe and the Eastern and Western seaboards of America where the bulk of the Santa-believing children live.
So if you were to be at the North Pole on Sunday night, you would observe Santa and his reindeer-drawn sleigh fissioning into 364 quantum Santas, heading south in an ever widening ring until they disappeared over the horizon.
And that is how Santa is able to deliver all those presents in one night.

Over the wall

I am indebted to the Old Curmudgeon for this public service information. It's a way round the Ion curtain that Blogger have thrown up to separate the Betas from the rest of us.
Before you write your comment, click on other. A different comment box will appear with a space for your blog handle and your URL. Enter these, then type in your comment. Now you can post the comment, and it will appear in the list of comments on the beta blog. The only problem is that your name appears in black, indicating that readers of the blog will not be able to link to you by clicking on your name, so it ain't a perfect fix, but it'll do for the time being until Blogger see fit to undo all the chaos they have sown.

War of the Worlds

I sometimes feel as if I'm living in two worlds. One is the real world of work, eating and sleeping; the other is the Blogosphere. Both worlds have major events happening, and are populated with a sprinkling of celebrities, but the lists of events and celebrities are completely different.
In the real world, there's Iraq, and the recent US elections. In the Blogosphere there's the Beta Blogger conflict, and the recent voting for the Weblog awards.
In the real world there's Bush, Blair and the Beckhams. In the Blogosphere there's Markos Zuniga and PZ Myers.
Whereas most people in the Blogosphere have heard of the real world, I find that most people I know in the real world are more or less unaware of the Blogosphere's existence. It's difficult to have a conversation about blogging, when you've first got to explain what a blog is. There's no mention of the Blogosphere on the media, no coverage of the exciting campaign waged by Pharyngula and the Bad Astronomer to win the Best Science Blog Award.
It's as if the Blogosphere were some kind of Phantom Zone, invisible and undetectable to the vast majority, constructed from massless blog-neutrinos.
And yet, it has an effect on the real world. The recent Democrat landslide in The USA would surely not have been so devastating were it not for the liberal blogs providing a communication outlet that counterbalanced the traditional media establishment.
If this is merely the beginning, what will happen later? Will the Blogosphere ever break through to the real world, and its events and personalities become familiar to the many?

Is Beta better?

I'm not convinced. So far I've resisted the hard sell to switch over to beta, until I get some feedback that it's a good thing to go for. I don't know about you, but I'm finding it very difficult to post comments on blogs that have gone beta, and I don't want to lose what few readers I have, if they can't comment on my posts. I'm just starting to see an increase in the number of new signatures in the comments, and like a delicate orchid, they need careful nurturing to keep them coming back.
One blog I'm particularly having difficulty with is Bentley's blog, now entitled Blogging with Gzus. (whatever a Gzu is?) If you're reading this Bentley, I haven't stopped visiting your blog, I just can't log in to comment. I keep typing in my password, both for Blogger, and for Google without success. I've even tried leaving an anonymous comment - but no joy there. I know he's recently converted, so I'm wondering if that's why I can't get in, or if it's some other reason? When I could get in, he told me he couldn't see that much difference between the two, so if anyone has any further experience with beta, this is the place to share.

UPPER CASE FOR TREATMENT

I've recently discovered there's a name for it. Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's the Argumentum ad CAPSLOCK. You've all seen this, whenever a religious fundamentalist or conspiracy theorist or general crank appears on a forum or in a comments list, they tend to EMPHASISE certain IMPORTANT words and PHRASES, in order to get their POINT across. As soon as you see it in a person's post, it's a sure-fire indication that they're a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Heck, even the few examples above are making my blog look unstable!
If you want a slew of examples of these phenomena - though why you would want to? - you should check out this website: www.crank.net . Be warned, there are a lot of disturbed people out there, and they've got computers.

I was there

Do you know a teenager who's suffering at secondary school because they're unpopular? Get them to read this essay by Paul Graham called Why Nerds are Unpopular. It won't help them become the social centre of the school, but it will help them understand why they're being persecuted, and why, in the long run, popularity in school is meaningless. Although it's written from an American perspective, and looks at the American High School social hierarchy, believe me, a Scottish secondary school is no picnic for a bright kid with glasses, severe Tourettes, and all confidence and self esteem expunged by the system.
I wish I could have read this thirty years ago. It might have acted as a signpost to better things.
So read it. Then, if you do know someone struggling in that situation, e-mail them the link, or print it off and give it to them. Don't say "I know what you're going through." Just give them the essay. If they want to talk about it, they will. Then, if you've been through the same hell that is secondary school, tell them, "I've been there."

Time after Time

My body clock's all to pot at the moment. I've just done two night shifts, and I've got another one tomorrow. Fortunately, I don't have any trouble getting to sleep when I come home in the morning. Today I got up at 3pm, so I guess that for today at least, I'm synchronised with all my American readers.
Time gets really complicated on the Blogosphere. You find that the time that you post bears little resemblance to the actual time at the bottom left corner of your computer (except on this blog, where I've jiggled it round to Greenwich Mean Time.) It's probably because most of the blog hosts operate out of California, which is about nine hours behind. It's most inconvenient to have to go to bed, just when people are logging on after coming home from work.

PURE oot continues

The row at Edinburgh University over the Pure course held by the Christian Union is deadlocked. The CU are threatening legal action, and have refused the University's compromise deal, which would allow them to use campus premises in return for the inclusion of material that shows other points of view.
The CU continue to deny that the course is homophobic:
"Homosexuality is a very small part of the course. It's mentioned in the same category as fornication and adultery, not the way God intended relationships to be. It does not single it out as worse than anything else." (emphasis mine)
So that's all right then. It's no worse than fornication or adultery. No homophobia here folks. Move along.
The trouble is, they don't consider themselves to be homophobic. They wouldn't dream of kicking a gay man in the face, or spitting at him, or swearing at him. Their religion is one of love. They love the person but hate the sin. They are sad that these people are engaging in activities that sets them apart from God. But they're not singling out gay people. They're no worse than adulterers or fornicators you understand.
In order to get people to admit they have a problem, you have to get them to admit they have a problem. The CU are feeling persecuted for their belief that gay people are sinners, and they can't see why the EUSA and LGBT have to be so mean about it.
Meanwhile the University faced with legal action, is desperately searching for an answer to this situation. But they've got rules for organisations who use their facilities, and one of those is a commitment to equality and diversity. Well at least gay people are equal to adulterers and fornicators.

I'm Deacon Barry - fly me!

I've just bought a flight simulator program for the computer. It's called Flight Unlimited II, and I got it for a couple of quid in a charity shop. It's quite a realistic experience, once I get the plane up in the air. My take-offs are a bit alarming, and my landings are a bit fatal. I have now managed to land the plane twice now, if you call landing, 'coming to a stop on the ground while still upright!'
The terrain underneath is a photorealistic depiction of the San Francisco Bay area. I've now flown over the Golden Gate Bridge, the Golden Gate Park, and Alcatraz. At some point, once I've learned how to handle the machine better, I'm going to attempt a flight under the Bridge. That's the beauty of virtual reality, you can do things you could never dream of doing in the real world.

Thar she blows!

NASA just announced the discovery of liquid water activity on Mars in the Centauri Montes region in the Southern Hemisphere. Comparison of photos of the area taken 6 years apart show fresh bright features indicating the presence of ice which has flowed down the slope between pictures.
It'll make colonisation of Mars that much easier, now we don't have to cart water and oxygen all the way there.

We're going back

It's about bloody time! We're finally going to get a moonbase. It'll be at the south pole, so they can stick up solar panels and catch the almost constant sunlight. Building a lunar base is good science and engineering. The moon is only three days away. We can learn how to construct planetary bases, and learn what not to do. Designs can be field tested. Procedures can be developed. The Moon can be explored in detail. Photographs of the Apollo landing sites will settle once and for all the idiotic conspiracy about faked missions.
Polar ice would be a wonderful find, but recent experiments have put that possibility into doubt. It'll just make the project a bit harder, that's all.
Let's postpone a Mars mission until we've rehearsed it on the Moon. The improvements in technology will make Mars much more accessible

I'll give her my last Rollo

Here, as promised, is the information about the book nearest the computer that I picked for the meme I blogged about yesterday.
It's Love and Will by Dr Rollo May (Souvenir Press, London 1970). Janiebelle, who I got the meme from said last night that she'd found out which book it was, and that wasn't long after posting. I suspect she found out through the internet, but I can't rule out her having the book in her possession, and having read it. If, of course, she turns out to be a close relation of Dr May, then I'm giving up skepticism for good, the universe would then be too darned weird.

Hand me down that can of memes

The daimonic can be either creative or destructive and is normally both.
It's a meme I found on U dream of Janie. I thought, what the hell, let's give it a shot. Here we go:
1.Grab the nearest book. No cheating! The nearest book.
2.Open the book at page 123.
3.Find the fifth sentence.
4.Post the text of the next four sentences on your blog, along with these instructions.
5.Don't you dare dig for a cool or intellectual book on your shelf. Pick out whatever is closest!

The sentence at the top of the post is number five. Here are the next four sentences of the book.
When this power goes awry and one element usurps control over the total personality, we have "daimon possession," the traditional name through history for psychosis. The daimonic is obviously not an entity but refers to a fundamental, archetypal function of human experience - an existential reality in modern man and, so far as we know, in all men.
The daimonic is the urge in every being to affirm itself, assert itself, perpetuate and increase itself. The daimonic becomes evil when it usurps the total self without regard to the integration of that self, or to the unique forms and desires of others and their need for integration.
Whew! I wish now I'd picked the book on the shelf above - a Dilbert book by Scott Adams, instead of this tome, one of my wife's psychology books.
I'm not supposed to tell you which one. You have to guess. So to keep up the suspense I'll wait until my next post to tell you. I promise.

Change of Shift

Change of Shift is up at Fat Doctor, and I'm in it! Change of Shift is a carnival of nursing blogs. Think of it as an anthology of posts by different nurses. It's a good way to sample some good blogging.

And they will call this a film review

We went and saw Tenacious D today. My wife thought it was one of the worst films she's ever seen. I thought it was OK, not a masterpiece by any means, but it did provoke a few giggles along the way. I felt it rehashed some of the themes in School of Rock, which was a far better film. Again Jack has a song about paying the rent. The idea of a Pick of Destiny deserves a much more epic treatment than this film gave it. What was needed was an element of National Treasure mixed with a dash of Da Vinci Code, I mean, this is a pick made from the Devil's tooth, for Asmodeus' sake. But there were some good moments, and the homily at the end is priceless.
Deacon Barry star rating **

SIX

Today's post is brought to you by the number six.
It's been exactly six months since I started this blog. I didn't know when I started if I would have the perseverance to make it this far, or if I would run out of things to say. But I'm still here, still blogging onwards, and now I've got to get to my first anniversary. I couldn't have done it without you reading and commenting. If I hadn't had your feedback, I couldn't have got this far. It's knowing that people are counting on me to write posts that gives me the encouragement to carry on. Thank you.

I was planning, just to post about getting to the six month milestone, when today, one of those serendipitous events occurred. This morning I got my letter of assimilation to Agenda for Change (AfC).
Agenda for Change is the new pay structure for the NHS. All employees - apart from doctors who have their own pay structure - are being matched, according to their job descriptions, to a pay band, running upwards from 1 to 10 (or is it 8? I can't quite remember). Guess what? I'm band 6! Specialist Nurse. It's because I've got the Diploma in Ophthalmic Nursing. I'm gob-smacked. I keep re-reading the letter, just in case it's a misprint. But it's there several times in the documentation - Band six! Call me cynical, but you see, I was honestly expecting to be in band five. This is way better than I ever thought. It makes a big difference to the amount of money I can eventually earn in my present position. The ceiling is so much higher.
And there's two years back pay to come in February.

Well I never!

Private Eye finally came up with an update on the story about the Jersey water supply. The Jersey States thought a water dowser more convincing than the British Geological Survey. But before committing themselves, the did arrange for some test bores, to see if the moon really was pulling water from France.
The results are in, and guess what? No water!!
Geological science -1 Pseudoscience -0.
Jersey States have now wasted a few hundred pounds searching for non-existent water, that the geologists told them wasn't there!
Remember this story, and remind people of it when they look like making decisions based on woo and flim-flam

PURE oot

There's a bit of a stushie at Edinburgh University. The Christian Union has been told it shouldn't hold its PURE course on University property. The course is a biblically based programme advocating abstinence from sex outside marriage. It recommends a book called What Some of You Were by Christopher Keane, which advocates that gay people should repress their sexual urges. This is what the LGBT students find offensive, and has prompted the call for the ban. Here's how Adam Knight, BLOGS president puts his case.
Contrary to what you may have heard, the CU has not been banned, nor has the course itself. The CU are at liberty to hold the course off campus, though why they would want to after all this negative publicity beats me. They're bound to get hecklers coming along now wherever they hold it.
As far as I can make out through all the conflicting reports, the course hasn't even been officially banned from the campus. It's just if they try and hold it at the University they're going to get picketed. This is what free speech is about. You have a right to express your opinion, but others have a right to challenge that opinion. Opinions which are discriminatory, racist, sexist and homophobic, need to be challenged. If students are not doing this, then something's gone wrong with their education.

Professor Deacon Barry

Today I did the lecture on retinal detachment. I found it difficult to get to sleep last night, and all the way to the Eye Pavilion, I was going over what I was going to say. I was also wondering if I had enough material to fill an hour, or would I rattle through the whole thing in twenty minutes. I knew I had about ten minutes worth on my starting topic - the anatomy of the retina, so at 9:05 I started with that. I was a bit nervous to start with, but as I warmed up, I relaxed. I finally stopped at 10:25. I have no idea where the time went, but it went well. There were two other lectures, one on diabetic retinopathy, and another on lasers. Then it was my turn again. I took the class up to the ward for a practical demonstration on how to erect a positioning set. This is an instrument of torture used by us ophthalmic types to ensure that patients who have had gas bubbles inserted into their eyes following retinal detachment surgery, lie face down, to keep that bubble over the repair at the back of the eye.
There was more torture in my final lesson, guiding the blind patient. The class got blindfolded and had to make their way about the ward, and do various tasks. The following is the exercise that I devised for this.

Simulated blindness experience

Blindfold or pad both eyes. Double padding is better at keeping the light out.

Ask the volunteer to move from one part of the area to another.

Try it again using a stick.

If there is a sink, the volunteer should try washing and drying their hands.

Be careful of hot water!

They should also try using the toilet.

Take the volunteer up and down a flight of stairs. Make sure they hold on to the banister.

If there is access to a wheelchair, the volunteer may be pushed around in it, without verbal cues, then asked to find their way back to a specified area.

Once they have got used to the layout of the area, move the furniture and put obstacles in their path.

At some point, after they have come to rely on it, remove their stick!

I didn't have enough time for the full version, so I could only give them a taster, but the feedback from the session was good. Try it yourself. Feel free to copy the exercise and use it in your clinical area. Please let me know how you got on.

Blog of mirrors.

I've just found out that the other Christopher Dallman - the singer, not the chemist - has read this blog. He was googling his name (see! I'm not the only one!) and he found this post of mine name checking him. He's now posted the post on his blog - well, in September he did, it's taken me two months to find out about it. So now we've got a situation where a blogger called Chris Dallman is blogging about a blog by Chris Dallman which has blogged about a blog by Chris Dallman. How recursive is that. All it takes now is for him to blog about this post and the Blogosphere will squeal with the feedback.

At least the Titanic was a ship

That's my three shifts done for this week. Back to the blogging.
In a previous post I expressed my concern about the Eye Pavilion being on prime development land. Recently, someone mentioned that it's actually built in the back garden of Chalmers Hospital which was willed to the city by one George Chalmers, who died in 1836. This implied that the land had to be used for medical purposes, and Lothian Health Board wouldn't be able to sell it to redevelopers like they've done with the old RIE.
They didn't get it quite right. Chalmers Hospital is certainly named after George Chalmers, but it wasn't his property. He left money to the Faculty of Advocates for the purpose of building an infirmary. This indeed was built about forty years later, and lasted over a century until its move to Little France in 2002.
It seems that NHS Lothian do have the freedom to sell the site, since as long as an infirmary in Edinburgh still stands, the spirit and letter of George Chalmers bequest is being fulfilled.
Whether the Infirmary will still be standing in twenty years is open to question. The new RIE is funded by the Public (or is is Private) Finance Initiative - PFI. This is how the Government has got a number of hospitals built, without having to show the cost in the public finances. Basically, a private consortium builds the hospital, then charges the Health Trust rent to use it.
The location of the new RIE, called Little France, used to be the site of a caravan park, which used to get flooded regularly. There's a small river running right behind the hospital. They've diverted it with a couple of 90 degree bends. All it will take is a period of heavy rains after a few wet summers, and a fallen tree to jam in the corners, and the nurses and doctors will have to wear wellies to treat casualties.
Everybody in Edinburgh knows it's built on a flood plain. We're just waiting...

Retinology 101

One week to go until I become a college lecturer. As I think I mentioned before, I've been asked to teach Retinal Detachment 101 to the Ophthalmic Nursing students, so I've been boning up on the subject. Did you know that there are twenty-five kinds of Amacrine cells in the retina? (Did you know we had Amacrine cells?) And no-one is quite sure what they do. There is a gaping hole in our knowledge of human anatomy.
Did you know that rods and cones are similar to fingernails? They're modified hairs that grow continuously and have to be trimmed regularly.
Here's another factoid. You've got about seven million cones - colour photoreceptors - but only 1% of them are actually in your fovea, where your central vision is focused.
Anyway, I'm working my three twelve-hour shifts on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday this week, so I'll be unlikely to be posting again until Thursday.

Mine's a Guiness

Let's celebrate a great feat of the Blogosphere. Tino Buntic from Canada has created a post on his blog in which every word links to a website. And there's a thousand links! Way to go Tino! He is now planning to go for a two thousand link post. If you leave a comment on his site, he says he'll include you.
If you're the smallest, the tallest, if you do it all
If you're the fattest, the thinnest, if you really win
If you're the quickest, the slowest, if you really go
Then you're a RECORD BREAKER!
The Bad Astronomer posted about this, if you're wondering how I found out about it.
The Blogosphere now has its own mountain for climbing. How high will it go?

All bound for Morningside

Edinburgh is old. Really old. Maybe thousands of years old. Unfortunately, the prehistoric settlements have been built on, and all that remains of those times are the terraces on the slopes of Arthur's Seat. There was probably a settlement on Castle Rock, which is why the Romans didn't have a camp there, but instead had a fort at Cramond five miles away.
There was a road going south from Cramond, and twenty years ago, my first job after leaving college was as an archaeological site assistant, excavating a short section of that road. I found a couple of roman coins and a cow's skull.
Although the road itself, is long gone, the route has persisted. A few miles south, it becomes Morningside Road.
Now I know that New York has a posh area called Morningside Heights, but it doesn't hold a candle to our Morningside.
The area is the fabled home of the legendary Morningside Ladies. These delightful creatures think that sex is what coal comes in. Their feared greeting, when guests arrive, is: "You'll have hed your tea?", implying that if anyone should be so crass as to say no, requiring the hostess to be put to the expense and trouble of offering food and drink, they will be treated to an icy civility henceforth.
The third weel kent fact about Morningside Ladies, though it is one that is only whispered out of their earshot, is that they are "All fur coat and nae knickers." though this description is also often applied to the city of Edinburgh herself. Indeed one is the embodiment of the other.
In reality, Morningside is not the poshest part of Edinburgh. That honour goes to Barnton. What it does have is shops. Apart from Sainsbury, there are no chain stores. They're all individual shops, selling a wide range of goods - jewelry, artworks, clothing, clocks, toys. It's the best street for your Christmas shopping.

Mythbusted

You feel let down, when you find out that the really interesting stuff that you've learned turns out to be untrue. Take Chop Suey. For years I have known that this is not a traditional Chinese dish, but something created in the early years of the twentieth century in San Francisco. Now a recipe has been found, which proves it to be a traditional Chinese dish after all.
Jack Palance, who died this week, was, for many years, known to have owed his trademark looks to plastic surgery during the war. Now it turns out that this was a myth put out by the publicity machine, and his looks were due to his Ukrainian heritage, nothing more.
A duck's quack does echo, and Flobadob is not the sound of boys farting in the bath.
I'm beginning to wonder if any of the fascinating facts I've collected over the years are actually true, or is the real world so dull that urban legends are the only way to maintain interest. What will happen when programmes such as QI and Mythbusters have disposed of the last so-called fascinating fact? Will there be any mystery left?
I won't let it happen. Off the top of my head, to celebrate the premiere of Casino Royale, some James Bond related trivia.
Dr John Dee, the famous Elizabethan magician, worked for her secret service. His number? 007!
Rudyard Kipling wrote a short story called .007. It's like an early version of Thomas the Tank Engine, with talking engines.

Sign of the times

How's this for a coincidence? I just posted the other day about sign language, and now I've read in our local free newspaper that our local primary school is to start teaching the pupils British Sign Language! I can see it catching on. Imagine, if you are 10 or 11 and you are taught a language that your parents and very few grown-ups understand, what mischief can be plotted, in plain sight! Teachers will at last have silent classrooms, but at what price? It won't take long for children to completely master the language, and be free forever from the tyranny of adults.
Oh, and it's wholly inclusive of deaf children who are now likely to be at the centre of events, instead of on the periphery.

Poetry Corner

It's culture time. Here is a poem written by me. It's in Scots, but I'm providing a translation.

Lament fir a deid spyug

Ma wee spyug's deid
Ma wee spyug's deid
It wis a muckle pun' o' mince
Fell oot the freezer
Hit him yince
Atween the e'en o' his sweet heid
And noo he's deid.

Pair wee spyug
(Ah cried him Shug)
Sic a sad demise.
He scarcely hud the time tae wince
When yon big doad ae frozen mince
Cam hurtlin' fae the skies
And dealt wee Shug
That mortal slug
Richt atween the eyes
And sent him oan a wan wey trip
Tae Burdie Paradise.

Translation

Requiem for a dead sparrow

My little sparrow is dead

He is an ex-sparrow

It was just over 0.45 kilograms of finely chopped beef

Which plunged from a front-loading device for keeping food fresh, by maintaining them at a temperature close to zero degrees centigrade,

And collided with the aforementioned bird once, and once only (but that was enough)

At a point on his cranium - of affectionate memory - equidistant between his medial canthii

And from then onwards he continues to be in a state of unlife.

Unfortunate junior member of the Passeridae family

(I had previously given him an appellation which was the diminutive of Hugh)

How tragic was your passing

The number of milliseconds allowed for him to flinch approached zero

When the aforementioned future sunday lunch at a temperature of zero degrees centigrade

Descended at an acceleration due to gravity of 9.98 metres per second squared

And imparted it's momentum fatally through the skull and cerebral tissue of my late avian friend

Targetted on the aforementioned point of impact

Immediately causing him to depart on a non-returnable excursion

To his own personal avian afterlife.

(Which is also a play on words on certain elaborately feathered inhabitants of Papua New Guinea)

I hope that made everything clear?

---o--- <-O-> I=O=I >o8o< ---o---

DON'T PANIC!

The Ministry of Defence has closed its UFO project. This leaves Britain wide open to a possible invasion by alien beings from outer space! People who report seeing UFOs will no longer be interviewed by the MOD. Is there no end to the Government's parsimony? First the NHS, now this? How will we sleep at night, knowing that extra-terrestrials may now land in our fields and back gardens with impunity.

WATCH THE SKIES!

Bonnybridge, the UFO capital of Europe, will now have to upgrade its infrastructure to cope with the influx of invaders from beyond space*.

The garages will now have to add Dilithium crystals and antimatter to their forecourts. The tea-shops and restaurants will have to add alien cuisine to their menus; pubs will now be serving Pan-Galactic Gargleblasters; and you'd better make sure your mobile is working, because there'll be a long line of ETs outside the public phone box!

*It's where Zoltar came from in Battle of the Planets.

You need hands

Everyone should learn sign language so that they can communicate with deaf people. It can bring unexpected benefits. Here's an example:
My wife and I went to Ireland for our honeymoon. We hired a gypsy caravan, drawn by an independently- minded horse called Molly, and spent a few days traveling round the Dingle peninsula.
On the Thursday, we camped in Annascaul, and took a bus ride into Dingle. We took a boat trip round Dingle Bay and saw Fungi the dolphin, then we went into a pub for lunch.
In the pub I saw a deaf couple signing a conversation. Now I had worked at the East of Scotland Society for the Deaf, where I picked up a bit of sign language, so I signed "Hi there."
Their faces lit up. In no time I was telling them with my hands that we had come over from Scotland for our honeymoon, and that we had parked our caravan and horse in Annascaul, and we were enjoying our holiday in Ireland, and so on.
After our meal, we waved goodbye, and spent the rest of the day in Dingle, ending up in the cinema, watching Phenomenon starring John Travolta.
When we came out, we found we had missed the last bus back to Annascaul so we had to get a taxi. As we were waiting, who should appear, but this couple, and they lived in Annascaul! They invited us to share a taxi with them, and insisted on paying the fare!
Learn sign language. It comes in handy.

Elation and elevation

It's celebration time! The Democrats have won the House of Representatives. Also, South Dakota's nasty little abortion ban got well and truly trashed. It's a good day for democracy, and the forces of tolerance.
It wasn't such a good day for the lifts at work. Both of them stopped working this morning at the same time. We couldn't move patients between the ward and theatre. There were delays and cancellations. Typical Wednesday!

Just another manic Monday

*sigh* Back to work tomorrow, after two weeks annual leave - hence the uncommon regularity of my posts. I'm working Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, so my posts are going to become erratic again.
It's my sister's birthday tomorrow. Happy Birthday! The present's in the post.

Schadenfreude

Ted Haggard, beacon of the Religious Right, scourge of homosexuality is thoroughly and absolutely hoist by his own petard. He's being seeing a male prostitute for three years, and has been buying methamphetamines from him. This he has admitted. But he claims he has not had sex. Yeah....right. That's up there with "I did not have sexual relations with..." Now Ted may not have had full on penetrative intercourse, in which case, his "no sex" claim is technically true in its narrowest sense. But if one needs massage on a regular basis, there are plenty of qualified massage practitioners who would be willing to come to your home, with the proper equipment, to give a proper therapeutic massage, quite openly. No-one would think anything of it. Being a televangelist is a very physical job. Heck, Ted could probably afford a full-time masseur! Well, up until yesterday anyway.
No, Ted has to come to terms with his gay yearnings, and do a St Paul-like conversion, to use his talents to push for gay marriage. That way he can find redemption.

Planet management 101

The problem with renewable forms of energy production such as solar and wind power is that they only produce electricity when the sun is shining or the wind is blowing, so the power has to be used then and there. If there could be a way of storing the electricity, then it could be on tap when it was needed at peak times. Until such time as industrial strength superconductors can be used, I think the answer should be as follows:

Use flywheels to store electricity for night-time and calm days.

Use the electricity to extract hydrogen from water. This will provide the fuel for vehicles.
Encourage everyone to have a solar panel on their roof, and a windmill in their garden.
Use the world's deserts as solar energy farms.
The more solar panels there are, the more surface area there is, to reflect sunlight away from the Earth and help cool the planet, thereby reducing the global warming. Of course, if there's too much reflection, there's a risk of triggering an ice age, so we might have to balance it with carbon emissions.
Why's no-one talking about the Gaia Hypothesis any more? A very good scientific test, is to see whether the increasing carbon dioxide in the atmosphere triggers a reaction in the Biosphere to counteract its effects.
We should be looking at this global-warming crisis, not as a disaster, but as a learning opportunity - a crash course in planetary management. If we come through this, we will be masters of climate control - an essential skill if we intend to terraform other worlds.

This means war!

It's a conspiracy! God is for Suckers is back up, and I find that other blogs have been hit. So far I know of four casualties, apart from myself, but there may be more who haven't reported in.

Blogroll of the injured

God is for Suckers

Stardust musings and thoughts for the freethinker

Agnostic Mom

Athiest Mama

If I hear of any more, I will keep you posted.

This is starting to look like deliberate sabotage of athiest blogs. If it is, then the hacker has committed a crime. Not only that, but by attacking me, it becomes an international crime, since the victims are in different countries.

This is a happening in progress. More news as I get it.

Gremlins are revolting

It looks like I'm not the only one having the computer gremlins at Halloween. One of my favourite sites God is for Suckers is off line (temporarily I hope). Stardust thinks it might be a Troll Hacker's virus, but we'll have to wait until GifS sorts out its server problems and returns to the Blogosphere, before we find out. Has anyone else had problems? I haven't heard of any other outbreaks of cyber-carnage, but then it's hard to see the bigger picture from one small website.