Put rubber gloves over your glasses before reading this.

Ah'm no weel. The doctor says I've got a viral chest infection. That's the kind you don't get antibiotics for. I just have to cough my way to recovery, armed only with a bottle of Co-op Bronchial Mixture. Karaoke is out, unless it's Old Man River or Wandrin' Star - the only songs known where a croaky throat is an advantage.